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Here we go again...
This time I have been stripped.
Yep, I mean, it's me, no facade, no sugar coat, no nothing. So
much has happened that I don't know where to begin (i can't even
remember enough of what i wanted to say) .. i think i mentioned i was
staying at another family's house while me host family was away right?
well the most significant thing that happened while i was there was
my bike rides. yes, we lived among chickens and horses in another
city ( ::cough cough:: village), and i rode my bike to my city a
couple times (not out of necessity but out of insanity). the first
time it took me about 70 minutes. problem was i was riding my
temporary host mom's bike, which was too big for me. i had to jump
off to touch the floor and stretch my legs to pedal. must i say that i
couldn't walk normally that day? half way to my city all i could see
was land and a restricted military area near by, the pain of riding
that bike was unbearable and i was cross as can be. and then i see
someone on the road. this person is on a steven hawkin's type of wheel
chair, and at that moment i breathed a sigh of relief and thanked god
for allowing me to have the senses to feel the pain resulting from
that bike, and strength to pedal so long. i never felt so stupid and
frivolous ... there i am with no REAL problems, cursing the day away. i
can be so dumb and petty sometimes. every time i drown in my own self
pity or what not, i just detach and think of how blessed i am, and how
simple the solutions to my problems are.
uhhh... my friends.. i love them. all of them even the ones of i
know are just there superficially.
´today my best german friend knocks on my door and brings me a
present and i just had the weirdest feeling of emminent loss. i don't
have much time left here and i can honestly say i have never had a
friend like her.
the reason why my report is so late!
i had totally forgoten to mention that my rotary district does a
germany tour instead of a europe tour. those in my district who want
to do a euro tour have to apply with another district. anyhow, my
counselor, had once asked me if i would like to go on the tour and i
said ', probably' but we never really spoke again. make a long story
short: my club sent me on the trip as my Bday present!
extreeeeeeeemely nice, eh?
i had not mentioned the trip before because i didn't think they
were going to go through with it, and also because i wasn't too
thrilled about it at the beginning of april since it meant being away
from my friends on my birthday and being with the exchange students
whom i hardly know.
i just got back from the trip two days ago and i feel like i was
away for about two months. (it was actually two weeks over easter
holidays). we visited some great cities, and some horrible ones (e.g.
Oberammergau) [we thought the youth hostel there would release lethal
gas from the showers instead of water]. anyhow.... i absolutely love
München and Berlin, although I feel I was not shown Berlin properly.
Knowing that I have not much in common with the other exchange
students, I asked my cool cat host brother to hook me up with some
telephone numbers and contacts around Germany, and so he provided the
'Party Plan.'
 as
we worked our way south we stopped by some of the 'touristy towns' but
they weren't really that thrilling. nice ruined medieval castles
perched on a small mountain (heidelberg) can always make great
postcards or backdrops for a romantic picture, but other than that
there isn't much there ... i mean no one remembers how old the wine
barrels there are.. we just know they are big. ..
the good stuff started in munich. i'm sorry to say I am not too fond
of 'good ol' german traditional stuff' and so i naturally exploded
when i finally got to a city with international flair. i really like
münchen but i am told by my host brother that one has to get to know
it to hate it... so i just stay on acquaintance terms with it. anyhow,
no need to tell the sites... they are better explained in a tour guide
book. my favorite places/sites München Residenz and Michael's church,
and ofcourse.. the MuffatHalle/Cafe!!!
my late night outing to the muffat cafe ranks 2nd on my list of
'Best Nights while in Germany' .. the exchange students were going to
some pub (as usual) to drink their little wallets empty, and I was fed
up so i headed out to search for the mufat cafe which my host bro had
reccommended. i found it, and my luck... there was a live concert that
night! it was real american hip hop, rap, and beats. 3 guys from the
bronx and 2 from New Jersey from a hot new record label. i approached
them and introduced myself (something i would have never done 8 months
ago) and voila..... now i have connections in 'The City' before I even
move there this fall (NYC). one of them practices my faith and clicked
on that topic and his godmom is a priestess and guest speaker at
Barnard for the study of Yoruba religions´ anyhow... I loved the
atmosphere at the muffat halle, and i had some great conversations
with more internationally savvy germans, as well as enjoying the
feeling of partying with east coast peeps (i got the VIP treatment and
all)...
in berlin i went to an all you can eat sushi bar with my japaneese
roommate.. that was fun! TUMS are not sold in Germany!
uh.. in Hamburg I went to the Reeperbahn with my host bro's cousin,
with whom I will go to Berlin this weekend or the following and whom
we met last night in a party in Cologne. (her sister works in the
hilton in berlin, and her other cousin lives in my city and he's
driving as well so i'll hitch the ride). my host family is so extense..
it's great! they have their own club and website and newsletter!!
back to the tour: we had guided tours through every city and then
we seperated which gave me the chance to really see as much as
possible from each city. (i am still the same ol' Flavia, I went to
all the culturall rich sites as well as the late night party spots
even if I haven't mentioned them) they just make for boring reports.
i didn't really get the chance to mingle with the other exchange
students, but i did meet one who was totally cool and really fulfilled
the rotary mission. he's from zimbabwe ( a place i previously knew
little about) and well he taught me so much about his country and his
people and tradition and lifestyle. it was fascinating. and
ironically, the exchange student who's interest and mentality and
social behavior/composure was more similar to mine was him .
the big 18!!!!
yep , i am an adult
...
and i do feel different!!! for one thing i feel stupid because i have
trouble writing.
umm. i am not afraid to be myself . i know it sounds wacky, but
it's like i feel strong and independent and worthy of all that comes
my way. i was terribly sad about leavinig my german friends to go on
the germany tour, but now that i am back i am so happy i did because:
a) i tested out the feeling of being seperated from them which was
helpful because i will be gone very soon,
b) i left the new comfort zone i had created for myself and
experienced a lot of new things on my own,
 c)
i realized how fleeting moments actually are and how at the end of the
day or night the only one left is ME. it had hit me::: the friday
night before leaving i cried my way home as i pedaled from the
slaughterhouse and my best german friend was on the phone with me at 2
am to comfort me, but she wasn't there when i was away and something
dissapointing happened and the one that had to pick me right back up
was ME. no one there i could depend on but ME. and no one to love but
ME. which is why i think it was such a special birthday .. ofcourse i
went out and celebrated at a club in Dresden on the 20th with a couple
of exchangees... but i wasn't concerned with them that night (as i
usually am) i was holding my head high and busting moves on the dance
floor with all the pride that comes in knowing i am my own prime
mover.
 i'm
too lost in thought right now to keep writing. i know i probably have
made no sense. .
but that's ok because it's all made sense to ME and that is -in the
end- what matters.
if we all stopped fussing about someone else or something else and
looked hard and objectively within ourselves then maybe there
wouldn't be so much dissapointment on CNN each evening.
peace
funny stuff: in munich i was with an american exchange student .
she had the american flagged wrapped around her waist and this
american tourist who is there chaperoning a group of high school kids
approaches us and blows up on the girl . he tells her she mustn't
love her country if she treats the american flag in that way .. he
even had the audacity to tell her that she should stay in germany
because the american people wouldn't want her back.. i don't approve
of the way this girl treats our flag, but he has no right to approach
her in that way -> what's the world coming to ?!?!?
best regards
Flavia
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